Monday, June 2, 2008

One more reason I love my church

Ruthie and I went to church for the first time yesterday. (well, it wasn't MY first time!) She was SUCH a good girl and slept thru the entire service with nary a peep. Well, she did squeak just a little bit towards the end of the sermon, but I suspect she was just letting pastor know it was time to move on. (actually, only a couple people even noticed that, but it helps that there was another noisy toddler in there whining all thru the choir piece, so Ru's couple of quiet squeaks during the sermon were no biggie)

Of course everyone was thrilled to meet her, which is no surprise as Brian and I are very popular at church. (I suppose it could be personality related, altho I suspect it has to do with us being one of just two couples in their 30s that attend regularly, and Brian and I are both pretty active helpers as well)

But on to the one more reason part. I had commented to Brian last week that I was getting seriously annoyed with all the negative comments folks seem love to share with new parents. When they ask how I am and I say "tired...but I figure that's to be expected with a newborn." They reply with "get used to it, don't expect to get any sleep until they are in their 20s, maybe!" Or I say I can't wait to just feel back to normal. They say "don't expect to ever be back to normal again!" Ok, I don't EXPECT life to be the same as it was before, duh! But it would be nice to be able to sit up out of bed without being in pain. That's the kind of normal I mean, physically recovered from my surgery. And I think they know it (either that or think I am really stupid) and just get pleasure in being the bearer of bad news. Or something. I don't really understand all the pessimism they cheerfully pass along to me. As if the post partum hormones aren't enough, I don't need to hear your horror stories of how bad it was for you and I'm doomed to the same. (especially since I expect these well rested appearing parents are exaggerating greatly in many cases)

So at church, they ask how I am, and I give the same sort of answers. Except here, I get replies like "hang in there, it will get better" and "the first three months are the worst." No smug "I've been there and you shall suffer forever like I did" type answers. At church I get sympathy and encouragement. The stories my friends at church tell me are more geared towards what they did to help their child learn to sleep at night. Or maybe even the same sort of "my child didn't sleep at night at all either, and nothing worked" story, but they follow up with the fact that their kid sleeps great now. The comments are intended to give me hope for a future less sleep deprived. (are the rest of you ppl listening?!?)

So I learn from all these new baby experiences. I have also now learned to watch my own comments carefully. I have several friends that are pregnant right now, and I'm sure I'll have plenty of others in my lifetime. I will do my best to always be the sort of friend that passes along hopeful, encouraging type messages that will actually help my sleep deprived comrades, rather than the cheerful pessimism that seems so prevalent in others. I'll even try to hold back advice unless it's asked for (altho I'm not gonna make any promises on that one, a girl can't be too perfect now... ;)

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