Maybe I need to join a support group or something.
Ruthie has to have special formula added to her breastmilk, and she has a minimum amount she has to eat each day. This means there's no point in spending a lot of time learning to breastfeed (we do practice a couple of times a day) until she is off the supplements. So I have to pump.
To keep my milk in, I'm supposed to pump eight times a day. EIGHT times. That's every three hours if you don't want to do the math in your head. I can skip a nighttime one as long as I do an extra during the day. It takes about 15 minutes for me to suck the girls dry. Again I'll do the math for you, I spend 2 hours a day with the breast pump.
It wouldn't be so bad, except it HURTS when I first get started. I understand this is common when you breastfeed too, except then I would have a cute little fuzzy head latched on. It hurts when I'm done, too. And frequently thruout the day my nipples get that lovely burning feeling. Ugh. But it is certainly at its worst when I first start with the pump.
I'm trying tho, I really believe breastmilk is best for my baby. I wouldn't add the formula at all except she was preemie and needs the extra nutrients in it. (it isn't standard formula, it's special stuff) So I tell myself I'm doing it for her.
I also tell myself it is a weight loss machine. In moments of frustration with my body I remember thinking to myself if only there was a machine I could just hook up to and it would do the exercise for me...it wouldn't matter if it hurt, etc. Now I've got that machine (kind of) and here I am whining about it. Not being cheery. I guess I need to get over it. I know I need to go spend some time contemplating it. Right now. Over the pump.